The View from the Boardwalk

Life... forever changing!

2009-05-07T22:21:00.001-04:00

Wow! My life has changed so much in the last few months. The beginning of March my house was broken into for the second time within 2 years. They busted through the dead-bolted front door. They didn’t get much this time (my tv and dvd’s). But for some reason this time it deeply affected me. I was filled with fear. I no longer wanted to be at my home or alone. While my new front door was being ordered and a security system was being put in I had been staying at the Kwasts’ house. During this time Karen passed away (March 22, 2009) and I know that God placed me there during this time for a reason. It has been one of the hardest times of my life yet, I know that the Lord has been in it and right beside me directing my paths. This whole situation is totally breaking my heart and tearing me apart. It has brought back so many memories of losing my mom (at 10 years old). I know what those kids (Jacob, 9 and Julia, 7) are going through and how they are feeling and it breaks my heart. I realized after weeks of being an emotional wreck that I was not just grieving the loss of a dear friend, but I am also grieving the loss of my own mother. As a child, I never grieved. I didn’t know how. I didn’t understand what was happening. I have gone through sadness, anger, confusion… I feel that I have felt every emotion possible in the last few months. It has been very difficult, yet very healing for me.

I also have been helping the Kwast’s with so much since Karen passed. I love those kids so much and would do anything for them. I pick them up from school, take them to activities, help with homework, whatever they need. And I love it!

I feel that my life is forever changed. At times I don’t even know who I am anymore. I used to be so independent and free. I loved being alone and doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. That is no longer the case. I don’t want to be alone anymore. And that is okay. God is changing me everyday. I know that He is in this. I know that He has a plan for me. I am so thankful to be where I am today, no matter how difficult it has been. God is using me to help those kids through a very difficult time in their lives!

Seasons

2008-12-21T16:05:00.003-05:00

"A season of obedience is followed by a season of blessings." - Pastor Jeff

Hmmm... this hit me good today. I believe this... I have seen this... I feel like I am right in the middle of these two seasons right now. I have always felt that God wanted me to finish my degree and that I was finishing up school in obedience to Him. I have (and have had for 10 years) a great job. I didn't need my dregree. But I knew in my heart that God wanted me to do this... and that he would bless me for it. SO, here I am... DONE! I have my degree (well, I haven't gone through the ceremony, but i have the credits) and now I am ready to jump into that season of blessings, right?!?!

The hard part of it is that we don't know when or how God will bless us for being obedient. I would like to be immediately blessed for my obedience, and in my way. BUT I know that this is not usually the case. I have no idea how or when GOD will bless me for my obedience in finishing school. But He will-- in His time and in His ways. And I know that i have already been blessed in so many ways!

I am thankful for every blessing that God gives me-- I don't deserve any of them.

Done! Now what?

2008-12-12T16:20:00.001-05:00

So, this week I have finished up my final class in my Ministry Leadership bachelor’s program at Cornerstone University. I do not officially graduate until May, but I am done with the work! Wow! I cannot believe it. I am so excited and full of anticipation of what God is going to do next! The work was difficult, the hours put into it were long, but the lessons learned will last forever (not to mention the student loans!!).

I am so thankful that I have completed my degree at this point in my life. Now, even as I just finished turning in my final paper, I am wondering what is next? What does God have in store for me? What am I going to do with the rest of my life? How am I going to use this degree? I am so blessed. God has done amazing work in me and in my life. I thank Him every day for the gifts he has given me.

Even though I do not have any definite plans for the future, I know that God led me to this degree program, He guided me through the program, and He will continue to lead me… For now, I am going to rest in Him and enjoy the ‘free time’ that I have before I go and fill it up! Because if you know me, you know it won’t be long before my schedule is full again!

Detours

2008-11-02T20:16:00.000-05:00

In a previous post I discussed “change.” Well, I would like to rename that to “detour.” Often in all of our lives, we hit “road closed” signs that leads us down different paths than what we expected or thought that we wanted. We are forced, sometimes, to change routes or directions in the pathway of life. It may have to do with schooling, career, relationship, marriage, or family. I know that I have hit many of these throughout my life, and surly will hit many more. It can be difficult to let go of what I thought I was working towards or moving towards in my life. It can be painful. Often at the time I don’t understand why it is happening. But I have always been able to look back and see that there was a reason for it. That it has worked out better that I could have planned or accomplished on my own, going my own way, in my own time.

One thing that I have learned is that even though the situation changes, my over all life mission stays the same. I am still a daughter of the King. I am still growing in my relationship with God. I am still living my life on purpose, in faith, and for God.

In Acts 8, Philip hits some “detours.” First he heads north, and many people come to faith. Then he heads south, and one man comes to faith. Even though his direction changed, his mission to share the Good News did not. His purpose remained the same, no matter where he was.

Sometimes when in these detours, we lose sight of God. We miss his goodness because we don’t expect Him to be there. Yet, He is. He is alongside us, helping us, comforting us, giving us strength in these times of troubles.

“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)

Choose Joy

2008-10-26T20:14:00.001-04:00

Today’s sermon at church really spoke to me. It was on Acts 7-8, about Stephen’s death. And how his death was a part of fulfilling God’s mission to spread the Gospel (Acts 1:8).

Bad things do happen to good, Godly people every day. Life is hard. We all go through rough times, tragic times in our life. I am thankful to say that right now I am not in the midst of tragedy. But I have had my share of “tragic” times. And I have always said that I am thankful for those times because it is those times that have shaped me into the person that I am today. And today’s sermon really affirmed that for me.

My life is a good story with some tragic parts. How I respond to these tragic times is very important. How I respond will shape the story of my life. I cannot control what happens to me, but I can control what happens IN me. When these things happen, I am able to choose how I respond. I must choose to respond in joy, peace, and love. Because it is what happens in my heart, that determines who I will be in the future. I must choose joy. I must expect God’s goodness in the end of all situations. I must believe that He is up to something good, even if I cannot see it today.

James 1:2-3, “When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”

Knowing v. Feeling

2008-10-23T22:34:00.001-04:00

I have to confess that today I have let the flesh take over. I am grumpy. I am questioning everything and don’t know why. I KNOW that God has a plan. I KNOW that everything will work out the way that it is supposed to. I KNOW that life is good. I KNOW that I am amazingly blessed. I have nothing to be grumpy about.

So, why do I feel so grumpy? So lonely? So unmotivated? So discouraged? Why am I questioning everything? Why am I not content with the way things are? Why am I filled with doubt? Where did my trust, peace, and patience go? Why doesn’t what I KNOW match how I FEEL?

Dream

2008-09-29T22:27:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, an amazing woman challenged me to dream. She asked me what dreams I have for my life. I realized that I don’t dream enough. I don’t know if it is because I am fairly content with my life as it is, or if it is because I am afraid to dream, or if I don’t know how to dream, or if I am just too practical and realistic. So, anyway, this week I have been attempting to dream.

Dreams that have come true, by the grace of God:

A home. I love my house. I still am amazed and thank God for allowing me to have this place of my own.

A job. I am thankful that I am blessed with a job where I get to help people. Yes, there are days when my job drives me crazy, but I am thankful for the people that I work with, the things I have learned, the challenges I have faced, and the people that we help.

(Soon) A degree. I only have 2 classes left and I will have a degree!! That was a dream I have had since I was a kid. It is not in the field that I thought it I would be in, but still a dream come true!

Travels. I have traveled to Europe to spend time with my sister and her family. (I dream of more travels and adventures).

Dreams for the future:

I dream of having a Godly husband that I can share the rest of my life with.

I dream of having kids.

I dream of writing a book.

I dream of having a house/condo on the ocean; a vacation place.

I dream of taking a road trip across the country (maybe on a motorcycle!!).

I dream of going on a mission trip to an orphanage to share the love of Jesus with kids.

I dream of going on a cruise.

I dream of a better relationship with my father.

I dream of a reconciled relationship with my mom’s family.

So, I will continue to dream.

Thanks, my friend, for the challenge, inspiration, and encouragement to dream! You are a blessing to me!

Change

2008-09-08T22:35:00.000-04:00

I don’t know many people who like, or enjoy change. Many resist it. But, in all reality, we cannot escape change. It is taking place all around us. And it can be difficult. We change jobs, schools, churches, and friends. Seasons change, fashions changes, rules change, kids grow up and change, people come and go in our lives, and so much more. The faster life goes by, the more changes that take place. And some changes are more difficult than others.
When it comes to change, we have choices to make. We can resist it and fight it (although it will still take place) or we can embrace it and learn from it. It is through change that, I believe, we grow and learn. Change pushes us outside of our comfort zones. It pushes us into the unknown. It is through change that we can let go of the past, yet learn from it, and look forward to and embrace the future.

God is in control. I believe that He wants us to grow, learn, and change a little bit every day. He doesn’t want us to live stagnant lives. It is during these changes and unknown and/or uncertain times that we must cling to Him. Go to Him for strength, guidance, wisdom, patience, peace, love, comfort, and everything else that we might need. We must be obedient to Him and follow Him.

No matter what changes life brings, we must remember that God never changes, we are never alone. He is with us, loving us every step of the way.

I know that over the last few months, I have embraced many changes in my life. And there are days when it is tough and it hurts and I just want to go back to where I was comfortable and where things were predictable. But then there are days when it is exciting and energizing and I cannot wait for what is yet to come. The future is ahead of me. And I cannot wait to see what it holds… I will not run from change, I will embrace it, learn from it, and grow every step of the way!

Love

2008-08-24T22:48:00.001-04:00

Oh my Word! God is teaching me and showing me so much right now. My heart is overflowing! I have been struggling lately with what love is. Do I really know or understand what love is? Am I able to give and receive love, especially if I really am unsure as to what it is or what it looks like? And God is answering my prayers.

I read a book by John Eldredge, Walking with God. In this book he discusses the different ‘agreements’ that we make over the years about things in our lives. Sometimes it is consciously and sometimes subconsciously. I realized while reading this chapter in this book that I have made many ‘agreements’ about love over the years. Based on my upbringing, it isn’t surprising. My mother got sick with cancer when I was three, my parents divorced, my mom died when I was 10 years old, my dad remarried and divorced again. I was not raised in a Christian home. As a kid, I saw a lot of what love should not be. I made many agreements that have followed me and affected me over the years. I have been unaware of these agreements in my life. But looking back I can see that they have been there, affecting me and my relationships.

I have overcome so much and have come so far. But God has so much more to teach me about love—about his love for me and then in turn how to give and receive love from others. God is revealing these agreements to me and helping me to overcome them. I am breaking free from my past!

Some of the ‘Love agreements’ that I realize I have made of the years:
Love is painful—it hurts to love and be loved
Love is temporary—it never lasts
Nobody loves me, I will be alone forever
My heart is afraid to give and receive love
I don’t need anyone’s love—I am strong and can make it on my own

What the Lord has been telling me about Love:
I love you, Quincy!
I will never leave you (John 14:16)
My love never fails (Romans 8:38-39)
Come to me for healing and I will heal your heart, I will transform it and your belief in love (Jer. 3:22)
You must allow me to heal your heart.
You must give it completely to me.
Give me each and every broken piece of it. I will heal it and mold the pieces of your heart together (Isa. 64:8)
Give it over to me—piece by piece, hurt by hurt—and I will transform it, heal, it and put it all back together. Your heart is whole again and you will be able to give and receive love like never before. It will be better than you could ever imagine.
Quincy, I love you… I made you… you must accept my love, in order to be able to truly love others.

It is crazy to me to look back and see how one or more of these ‘agreements’ is at the root of so many painful situations in my life. Even recently, I can see how I believed some (if not all) of these agreements.

I am so thankful that God has revealed this to me and that he has not given up on me. I must continue to spend time with Him, soaking in His love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. Because as he fills me up, I pray, that His love, mercy, grace and forgiveness overflows from me onto others.

Obedience

2008-08-19T21:46:00.001-04:00

The Lord is really working on me right now. It is truly amazing! Everyday I am learning something new. I am finishing up a class that has taught me so much and has really helped me dig deeper into His Word.

I am growing not only in my relationship with Jesus, but with other amazing Christians who are such blessings to me. I am so thankful for the friendships that have developed and become so strong in my life over the last few months. These friends have been such an encouragement to me. They are holding me accountable, they are challenging me, they laugh with me, and they cry with me, they are amazing!!

I have no idea what the future holds. I know that at this moment, God is telling me to trust him and to rest in him. He has given me amazing peace about where I am at today and about my future. I am pressing on in anticipation of a great future that God is planning and in control of. I am trusting him, leaning on him for my strength and comfort in my weakness, and turning to him for wisdom and guidance.

I must be obedient. I must be faithful. I must trust him with all of my heart.
Application and obedience is always the hardest part. But I know that he is guiding my steps. I am so thankful for where I have been and am so excited for where I am headed!

A few quotes that really hit me this week:

"Obedience is the mother of true knowledge of God." (John Calvin)

“It is not the Word hidden in the head but in the heart that keeps us from sin.” ~Vance Havner

Patience

2008-07-15T21:59:00.001-04:00

"In order to have patience we must renounce the tyranny of our own agendas."

Wow! The life lessons that I have been and continue to learn all seem to have to do with patience. I must be lacking in this area of my life because it seems like every time I turn around I am praying for more of it. I think the above quote is exactly what I needed. I need to let go of my own agendas and life plans. It is not about what I want. It must be focused on God and God alone. I must quiet myself and spend time alone, with Him, in order to hear him clearly. I must be obedient to what he tells me. I must give my own agendas over to Him. He knows what is best for me. He has a better plan than I can even image. He is in control and I must let go and allow Him to work it all out. It is not about me… but about him. His peace must overcome my anxieties. My future is in his hands alone… I do not know what it will bring… but I trust him and love him with all of my heart…

“The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?” Proverbs 20:24 (NLT)

Life Lessons Learned:

2008-07-10T18:47:00.001-04:00

A relationship that I thought we never end is over. As sad as I am about it, looking back I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned. I don’t regret a moment of it. I have been blessed and know that it is all a part of God’s plan.

From the relationship I learned:
The importance of communication and leadership in a relationship
Love and Patience and Kindness (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Obedience to Christ—keeping in close relationship with Him in order hear what He is telling me, so that I can be obedient and in His will for my life
Servant hood—doing for others (acts of service)
How much I need words of affirmation and affection
And much more… I pray that he was also able to learn and grow from our relationship, as well.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

FINALLY!!

2008-06-22T22:26:00.002-04:00

Okay. I am posting! After the harassment I received this past weekend about NEVER posting, I thought it was time. But I bet no one will even notice because you have given up on me and my blog! But, if any of you (and you know who you are) actually do read this, it was nice to meet all of you in person. You have an amazing family and it was a privilege to spend the weekend with you. I hope to see you all again sometime!!!

Here are some of my thoughts for today:

Life is crazy. Time goes by so fast. I cannot believe how fast things change. I cannot even count how many weddings I have attended in the past 2 years. Or how many of my friends and family members are having kids that are growing up so fast. It really makes me think about life and what I am doing and where I am going. What does that future hold? How will my own life be different in one or two years from now? Where will I be? What will I be doing? Will I ever be done with school? It seems like I have been in school forever, yet once it is done, I will look back and be surprised at how fast it went... funny how that works out, isn't it? I cannot wait to see what the future hold. I know that God has many great things in store, I just continue to pray for patience to wait on Him and His will for my life. And for obedience to follow Him closely each and every day, so that I can fully live my life the way that He wants me to.

Merry Christmas!!

2007-12-23T19:27:00.000-05:00

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

HELP!

2007-08-21T20:16:00.001-04:00

Okay, I am posting... I need you help! I have 2 school projects that I am working on and could use your advice.

1) I have to do a presentation on a "commonly misunderstood Scripture text." Any suggestions? And how are these scriptures misunderstood, along with how the incorrect methods of interpretation adversely impact both theological accuracy and the integrity of the church's witness in society?

2) I need to write an "Inductive Bible Study Principles Paper on a biblical subject with implications in contemporary society." Any suggestions for a topic?

Thanks! I cannot wait to see what suggestions you have!

Running

2007-07-15T21:05:00.000-04:00

I have always hated to run. The worst day of every school year was the day we had to run the mile and get timed. I hate to run!

For some crazy reason over the past few weeks, I have had this urge to run. I have no idea where it is coming from or why I have it. I have tried to ignore it. But I finally gave in this past Wednesday. I came home from work, got out my running shoes, put on some comfy clothes, got my ipod out and went outside. I ran all the way from my mailbox to the next one down the street (houses are somewhat far apart on my street! ha!) when I remembered why I hate to run! I had an ache in my side and I was gasping for air. I am SOOOOO out of shape! I was ready to give up! But I decided I could walk and maybe try to run again a bit further down the road. Well, I didn't run anymore that day. I ended up walking a mile total. And decided I would try again the next day.

When I woke up Thursday morning, I could barely move!! I think I worked muscles I didn't know I had. I hurt all over! I knew I had to do it again, even though I wasn't sure how! So, that night after work, I went out again. I made it the same distance... then walked. I am not sure that I will ever make it any further. Big t says that it gets easier... I hope he is right!

I have made it out four times this week. It has gotten a bit easier. I haven't ran too much further, but I think that in a day or two I might try. It feels good to be outside. It is very peaceful, but right now I am just reminded of how out of shape I am! I cannot believe that I just admitted on here what a loser I am! Maybe it will help me stick to it!

Isn't Blogging a winter sport?

2007-05-30T12:46:00.001-04:00

It has been a long time... No excuses... no reasons... just hasn't been a priority.

Summer is finally here in Michigan! YEAH! I love the sunny days! There are never enough of them here, so we must enjoy each and everyone! Too bad jobs and school get in the way. It is crazy how busy life is. It doesn't matter how much or how little you have to do, you are still always busy (or is it just me?). I went from working 3 jobs and going to school to one job and school-- for some crazy reason, I really don't feel less busy. But I do sleep more!!

Here are some fun picture of big t... hopefully he doesn't get mad at me for posting them (he probably won't even know I posted them, with how often he has been looking at blogs!)! He is such a good sport! Always making me laugh!

Hanging out at the bon fire!

Having "tea" with my Ella, my niece.

What a guy!

Have a great summer (just in case I don't post again til fall!!) =)

Snow in April

2007-04-11T21:50:00.000-04:00

It is only in Michigan that we can have a "green Christmas" and a "white Easter"!! It is April and we are having a snow storm! This is crazy! Will winter ever end?

Prayer Request

2007-03-28T12:34:00.000-04:00

I have a prayer request. My boss' wife and my friend, Karen, has been fighting cancer for about 4 years. Recently they received the news that the cancer has spread. She now has tumors in her brain. The prognosis is not good. They are starting radiation today, on top of the chemo that she has already been doing. She is a wonderful, godly woman, whom I love and respect. She is married and has two young children, Jacob (age 7) and Julia (age 5). Please pray for her and her family.

February Freeze

2007-02-06T20:22:00.000-05:00

Winter is here in Michigan!! The temps are below 0. The snow has been falling. The roads have been very icy. And schools have been closed!

I am ready for Spring!!

Opinion

2007-01-25T20:31:00.000-05:00

Wow! The pressure to keep current posts in this blogging community is pretty high... you sure do keep everyone accountable to posting on their blogs.

Question:
If you have an opinion... and someone asks you to share your opinion... you tell them that you don't have an opinion... isn't that lying?

Obedience

2007-01-09T21:38:00.000-05:00

Why is it so hard to be obedient to God? Why is it that when I think I know what God is telling me to do I question it? doubt it? I come up with excuses to not follow it? worry about what others will think? (sorry, big t... I am more like you in this area than I like to admit!) read into every little thing too much and end up confusing myself more and more? why do I not just step out in faith? Why is it so hard?

I know that God if faithful, all-knowing, all-powerful, loving. I know that he is NOT a God of confusion or doubt. I know that he has plans for me... good plans. and it frustrates me that I let my pride, doubt, worry, fear, etc... get in the way of those plans. I want so badly to do the right thing. I want so badly to be obedient. but it isn't about what I want. it is all about what God wants.

Jeremiah 29:11-12
"For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T19:44:00.000-05:00

Wow! 2006 is over. Time sure does fly!

Looking back at 2006... It was a good year! I cannot believe how fast it went-- it was kind of a blur. It was definitely a busy year! I was juggling and hopping all year round. I think that it was a year of growth and learning for me. I grew so much spiritually (thanks to my small group challenges and accountability!!). I pray that this year continues along the same path! God is so good and has blessed me in so many ways! I also think that I have grown relationally. I have grown closer to some people and grown in some new, wonderful friendships. I have learned a lot and have been succeeding in my continuing college education... (although, the last 3 weeks of break have been wonderful!!!)

I am excited to see what 2007 brings!

Here are some pictures from BridgeWay's Prom-- Winter Wonderland 2006! Thank you to all who made it an awesome time! All of the planning and praying paid off in the end!

big t is the champion!!!

2006-11-25T18:23:00.000-05:00

i think that big t is the only one of us that made it this far into the 6 week challenge that has not fallen. i shamefully fell yesterday during my shopping extravaganza! i knew that it was going to be the hardest day of the 6 weeks and i tried to prepare myself for it, but i still failed! this doesn't mean that i am giving up or ending the fast early. i am going to stick to it for the last week and a half.

WAY TO GO BIG T! Don't give up now... you can make it through! Clearly, you are a more disciplined individual than we are!

Frustrated

2006-11-19T18:23:00.000-05:00

I am frustrated... i don't really know why. i am not one to get stressed out all that often. what is even worse is that i don't even know why i am frustrated. life is good. everything is going fairly well. but i am feeling frustrated.

i am a planner. i like to be organized. i like to have goals. i like to be challenged and to work hard to achieve things. and right now i am feeling like i am not any of the above. i am at a good spot in my life. God has blessed me more than i could have ever imagined or dreamed. i am happy. i love life. but i have no clue what i am going to do with the rest of my life. i have no vision for my future-- i don't know what i am working towards or what i am working for. i am going to school and working towards my degree, but i have 2 good jobs (already in the field that i will have a degree in). and i think that is what is frustrating me the most right now. i know that God has a plan. And i trust Him. I know that God doesn't always show us what he has in store for us (i think most of the time he doesn't). i know that i need to be obedient and trust Him. and i am. yet... i don't like not knowing. i don't like not having something to work towards.

i am sure that God is working on me in this area. he may be asking me to simply trust him and his plan for my life. he may be testing my obedience. he may be trying to get me to let go of MY plans. i don't know.

i don't know what he is doing. but i do know that over the last few months my relationship with Jesus has grown more than it has in a long time. and i love it. and i know that i want to continue to grow in my relationship with Him. i want to follow him, grow closer to him, get to know him even more, and be obedient to him. i want his will for my life.

so... i guess i will just take it one day at a time... asking God at every moment to guide me and show me each day what he wants from me...

1/2 way mark

2006-11-13T13:17:00.000-05:00

Well, i am about at the half way mark of my six week fast. It has been going well. there were a few times when i was tempted to give in, but did not.

It is so cool to see that some of you have joined me. I hope you are all growing and learning during this as much as I am. It definately has been a great experience for me.

Nothing to say...

2006-10-31T20:51:00.000-05:00

I have absolutely nothing to say. But it is clearly time for a new post. And for it to "count" as a post, I have to have more written that just a title (sorry big t)!

Life is good. Both jobs are good. School is going good. Life is flying by. I cannot believe that Christmas is around the corner--another year gone!

I have kept my commitment to spending an hour a day with Jesus. It has been awesome! I cannot imagine not doing it anymore! God is blessing me for committing my time to Him. I actually feel like I have more time! I am getting even more done!

In my small group we were called to a challenge... A challenge to give up something... To fast... Something that is cheating me of God. So, I pose this question to you, "what, in your life, is cheating you from God?" Could you give that up for 6 weeks? I challenge anyone that reads this to join me in giving something up for six week in order to grow closer to God.

New Commitment

2006-09-25T16:25:00.000-04:00

Okay. So, yesterday I made a new commitment.

I pray. I read The Bible. But because I have a busy life, I seem to just slide it in whenever it fits in my schedule. I usually do somesort of praying and Bible reading everyday, but i have been feeling convicted lately that i am not doing as well as i should be when it come to this area of my life. Jesus is important to me. So, why in the world am i not making it more of a priority in my life? I usually spend about 15 min to 30 min at the end of my day praying, reading, and journaling. I am more of a night person than i am a morning person, so i always thought that this was a good time for me to spend with Jesus. but some nights i would cut it short because of homework, or because i was tired. That's not fair to Jesus. If he is a priority in my life, i need to give him more than just the end of my night or the few min here and there that i can squeeze it in throughout my day. I need to plan my day around Jesus; not plan Jesus around my day!

So, with all of that being said I have made the commitment to have coffee with Jesus every morning! I am meeting with Him at the local coffee shop every morning (monday-friday) at 6am! (I have to be to work at 7am) I am putting this out here, because i am going to need to be encouraged and held accountable with this. I AM NOT a morning person. I am going to want to push the snooze and sleep another hour. This will be a challenge for me. But i know that it will be worith it!

I started this today. And by the time i got to work at 7am, i felt great! i felt more awake and alive. I had a good day because it started out right!

Burnout

2006-09-17T22:24:00.000-04:00

Everyone has a different limit when it comes to what they can accomplish in a given day or week. We all have different energy levels.

I have always been a busy, productive person. I cannot really remember a time when I hit my "burnout" point. I like to be busy. I am an example of the saying, "when you want something done, give it to a busy person" (or something like that). I work a full time job, one part time job, and another job on the side. I also go to school full time in an accelerated bachelors program. And this past week, I think that I found my limit, or "burnout" point.

It was Friday afternoon and I had no idea how I was going to get everything done. Not only am I taking my regular courses of school, I decided to add an online class to my load. Then I found out this week that, in the mist of this extra class, that I need to have all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. So, not only did I have to get all of my homework done for this week, I wanted to get it all done for next week too, just in case I don't recover from my dental procedure as fast as I would like. So anyway, I was feeling a bit stressed about getting all of this done, on top of my regular weekend activities such as, cleaning my house, paying the bills, doing laundry, etc...

Before I dove into it all, I took some time on Friday and quieted my head and heart before God. I took a few moments to pray and turn it all over to Him. I needed to remember that even though I was feeling a bit burnedout, that God was with me. He has blessed my life with all of these activities, and responsibilities. I needed to remember that it was God that has called me to do all that I am doing and that He will equip me and give me the energy I need to accomplish what He has called me to accomplish! And what a difference it made!!

I did have a busy weekend. But God gave me the energy that I needed to accomplish everything that I needed and wanted to accomplish. I had more energy this weekend than I have had in a long time. I was a peace with everything every moment of this weekend.

What a lesson I learned! On my own, I cannot possibly do what I want or think that I need to do. But as long as I am following God and asking Him for help, I can do anything!

This situation also reminded me of all the people I talk to that say they are "too busy to serve" or to help out at church. That excuse makes me cringe every time. If God is calling you to do something, He WILL give you the strength to do it. We must be obedient. He may ask us to give up some things that take up our time. But if we are obedient and follow Him in everything that we do, we can accomplish whatever He calls us to accomplish.

With all of this said, I no longer feel "burned out". I don't think that I should add any more to my plate right now, but I am feeling pretty good about what is currently on my plate. I do not feel over loaded or stressed out! God is Great!!

5 most important events in my life... (Homework Assignment)

2006-09-06T19:20:00.000-04:00

1) When I was three years old my mother was given the diagnosis of cancer. During the seven years that she lived with cancer, my parents divorced. When I was ten years old my mother passed away.
2) My dad married Val when I was in the first grade. This was a huge event in my young life for many reasons, but I think that the biggest adjustment for me was that she had 2 children of her own. I went from being an only child to now the youngest of three girls. My dad and Val divorced when I was a junior in high school (this also was a big/difficult time in my life). Even though they are no longer married, Val and her two girls are a huge part of my life today-- Val is my mom and her girls, Melissa and Angela, are my sisters! They are my family. And I am so blessed to have them in my life.
3) Working at Peak Performance has been an awesome experience. This job has helped me develop into the person that I am today. I was in high school when I started working here as a front desk assistant. Today I am the office manager. My boss has taught me more about health, life, business, and communication than I ever imagined. It has been an honor to work for him. 4) Becoming a Christian when I was 20 years old was probablly the biggest and most important event in my life. This is where everything changed. The path that I was on changed. How I viewed life changed. My friends changed. My job changed-- In August 2005, I was asked to come on staff at my church as Director of Early Childhood Ministries. Everything changed and it was the best thing that every happened to me!!
5) When I was 21 years old, I built my home. This was a huge accomplishment in my life. I have learned so much from the experience of building and owning a home. I love having a place of my own, although it takes a lot of hard work.

IMPACT

2006-08-20T20:04:00.000-04:00

"I am convinced that when we face our fears, we look straight into the eyes of opportunity, and the courage we often need to engage our greatest challenge can be found only in the misdst of engaging that challenge. There is a point as we seize our divine moments that a battle begins. It is in this point of IMPACT where we experience conflict, opposition, and resistance. But it is also at the point of IMPACT where we have the greatest opportunity. It is on the battlefield that we reflect what's on God's heart, and we stand in that place where God longs to make Himself known."
Erwin McManus

Oh so true! How many days do you wake up feeling like you are about to go into a battle or are in the midst of a battle? But how cool is it to think that God is using these conflicts, oppositions, and struggles as opportunities to not only impact us, but also to impact those around us that are waiting and watching to see how we will respond? I pray that every challenge that we face, we respond to in a way that glorifies God and impacts others by pointing them to Him.

Advance

2006-08-17T21:26:00.000-04:00

Here are some quotes and thoughts from a GREAT book that I am currently reading:
Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus.

This book has really challenged me and encouraged me. I read it (from cover to cover) on my way to Spain and now my small group is working through it.

"What is it about our conversations with God that we seem to hear the no more readily than the yes? Many times when we claim we are waiting on God, He is waiting on us."

"You move forward unless God tells you to stop. You advance unless God tells you to wait. There are certian things that you do not need permission to do. You've already been commissioned to do them."

"Too many divine opportunities are lost because we keep waiting for a word when the word has already been given."

Are you advancing? Are you moving forward with God as you guide?

If not, how would your life be different if you lived and worked from a YES than a NO? What is preventing you from living your life from a YES rather than a NO?

Is anyone out there?

2006-07-30T17:34:00.000-04:00

It seems to me that the blogging world has settled down over the last few months. I am not quite sure why. But I (who said I would never blog) kind of miss it! I have not posted anything in quite awhile... I haven't really known what to write about and of course I can always use the "too busy" excuse!

Anyway, this weekend while driving I saw a bumper sticker that caught my attention and made me wonder. It was simple. It said, "NEW ERA CHRISTIAN" What exactly is that? What does that mean? I don't think that I have ever heard that term. Have you? If so, fill me in, because I am in the dark on this one.

Flood waters fixed!?!?

2006-06-25T23:08:00.000-04:00

Well, this past week... Thanks to Trent and his crew of amazing friends and family, the flood waters should be done washing away my yard. Thanks guys!! I cannot even express how appreciative and gratetful I am for the help, time, and energy that they put into this project! I am amazed by the work that they did! It looks awesome and I am still in awe of all that they did to help me out! This was the first project at my home that I did not participate it! And I feel guilty for not helping out more!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! You guys are the BEST!!!!!

Sin

2006-06-18T23:27:00.000-04:00

Some recent events in my church have really caused me to stop, look a little closer, and ask some questions about sin.

I know that we are all human and we all sin. But how do we get to a point where our sins own us and we forget that they are sin? How do good people, Christians (raised in a Christian home), Leaders in a church fall into sin and not even realize it or think that it isn't a sin? And even more important than why, HOW do we prevent from falling into that same trap from the devil?

Acts 20:28 "Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God which he bought with his own blood."

I have been thinking about this a lot and I know that accountability is very important. (but what happens when the person that is holding you accountable, falls into the same sin, right along side of you?) I know that staying in a close relationship with Jesus is very important-- Praying, staying in The Bible. But what else? I have a hard time believing that leaders in the church, who are teaching The Bible to others, are not in The Word. What else can we do?

Galatians 6:1 "Brothers, if someone is caught in sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

Right along with accountability comes confrontation. I have learned how difficult this can be. But as difficult as it is, it is so important. Nothing in life that is worth doing or having is ever easy. I truly believe that if sin is confronted early on, it can be overcome. But the longer it goes on, the harder it is to break away and be restored without having to live with the consequences.

God is GREAT and I know that even throughout these challenging times, He is in control. He will work it all out for his good. Going through these tough times will help our church to become a stronger, more faithful and more truthful church. We will learn from this! He will be given glory and praise, even during these times!

Flood waters

2006-06-06T22:13:00.000-04:00

Saturday night during a massive rainstorm, big t and I were almost washed away by a flood in my backyard. I was wishing we had spent the day building an ark.

For the last four years I have been trying to figure out what was causing the erosion problem in the back yard and along the side of my house. I have done numorous things to fix it (I built a retaining wall, got gutter helmets, and other things) and nothing has worked. So, during the rainstorm on Saturday I dragged big t outside with me to see what was happening. This is what we saw:

It was amazing! Absolutely insane! I still cannot believe what we saw. Anyone want to come fishing in my rapid river? If we get anymore rain I am going to need a boat to get out of my house!

I clearly see what the problem is... but I still don't know what to do to fix it!!! Any ideas??

A Mother's Love

2006-06-04T21:23:00.000-04:00

After spending a week in Spain with my sister and her son I realized how incredible a mother's love is. She is an awesome mom and I am so blessed to have her as a sister. I saw my sister in a way that I had never saw her. She was incredible! I saw an amazing example of the sacrifices that wonderful mothers make for their children. Nothing in her life matters to her more than her son. Her plans and her agendas do not matter, all that matters is her son and what is best for him. Her life has forever been changed (for the better) because of this beautiful child of hers.

A mother's love is an awesome example of dying to self-- giving up all selfishness-- living everyday for her child, not for herself. Amazing!

I know that God calls each of us to do the same when it comes to our relationship with Him. To be in obedience with Him we must die to ourselves and live each day, each moment, for Him alone! What we want doesn't matter, our plans don't matter, our agendas don't matter, only his plan and purpose for us matters! I pray for God to help me to remember this each day, each moment, because I know that I have a long way to go! I have lived a long time on my own, doing whatever I want, whenever I want. I am selfish, I have plans, and agendas, and things that I want to do. And even if some of these things are God's will for me, I need to remember that it is still in his timing, not mine, that I will accomplish these things! God is great!

Greetings From Spain

2006-05-30T13:53:00.000-04:00

Wow! I cannot believe that I am blogging from Spain. For someone that said that they were never going to blog, this is a big shock!

This is Liam, my nephew... one of the main reasons that i am in Spain. He is such a sweetie! I have been having so much fun playing with him.

Well, i just felt like i needed to do something that reminded me of home!!
More to come!!

Vacation

2006-05-26T11:51:00.000-04:00

I am off to Spain for a week vacation to see my sister and her family. I am so excited!! I am sure that I will write all about it when I get back! Have a great week!!

The Final Detox Results are in!!

2006-05-17T22:19:00.000-04:00

Here are the results of the 9 day detox:

Mike lost 12 lbs and 13 1/2 inches
Jeni lost 7 lbs and 9 inches
Karen lost 8 lbs and 9 1/2 inches
and I lost 4 lbs and 8 inches
Marissa is 2 days behind the rest of us, so her results will be in on Friday!

Looks like it was a success!!

I learned a lot about my self through out the last 9 days. I learned that I really don't have much will power! I am weak and selfish. I don't like to be told when and what I can and cannot do. I am talking about food and eating, but... as much as I hate to admit it, those same realizations that I had about food and eating probably carry over into every area of my life! YIKES! How humbling! I have a lot of work to do!

Update

2006-05-11T19:34:00.000-04:00

Okay... I am on day 4 of 9 for the detox. It is getting easier everyday. I am no longer craving coffee or Pepsi!!

So far... my boss, Mike, has lost 8 lbs. and 4 inches. Jeni, my slave, has lost 4.5 lbs. and I have not lost any pounds or inches--but that's a good thing, I don't really have much to loose!!!

The website for this is : www.isagenix.com- check it out! Some people have really lost a lot of weight and inches.

For the first family dinner I made marinated chicken on the grill, rice, fresh green beans, salad, Keylime pie and brownies! It was great! And it was my last "real" meal for two days. I started the detox the next day! SO, big t got to take home and eat all of the leftovers!!!!

Detoxification Fun!

2006-05-08T21:42:00.000-04:00

This past Saturday I started a 9 day detoxification/ cleanse to get healthier! Most people use this program to "become healthy, clean and lean!" During this 9 day program most people on average lose 9 lbs. I am not doing this to lose weight, but to get as healthy as possible! And to hopefully gain more energy.

Four of us at work decided to do this program all at the same time to help keep each other accountable. This program didn't look to difficult to do. Five out of the nine days you drink a chocolate shake (not the best tasting) for a meal replacement for two of your meals and then eat one "sensible meal" per day. On the other fours (called "Cleanse Days") you are drinking LOTS of water and mixing a fruity cleansing mix to the water four times throughout the day. There are also some "chocolate wafers" that you eat in between your fruity/water drinks (supposed to help curve your appetite).

Some days when I am really busy, I forget to eat. And most days I do only eat one meal. So, I didn't think that it would be that hard. Well, I am only on day one (a cleanse day that i cannot eat) and I am starving!!! I miss my coffee and Pepsi more than the food, I think! Why is it that when you are told you cannot eat, that that is all that you want to do??

So... that's my news for the week. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

What to make?

2006-05-01T22:13:00.000-04:00

I have two upcoming family dinner events at my house and I am clueless on what to make. I don't cook all that often-- it is no fun to cook for myself-- but I am willing to give anything a try. I don't think that I am a bad cook, just a little lazy when it comes to cooking for just me. So, I am excited to have people over and to make a good meal.

I don't usually have my family over for dinner. Because I am the youngest and don't have a family of my own, they don't think that I can or like to cook. So, they don't really expect a whole lot from my cooking!! But i want it to be good. I want them to enjoy it. Hmmm....

Maybe I will just have big t come over and do all the cooking!! He is a good cook!!

So... i guess i am a blogger!

2006-04-26T22:17:00.000-04:00

Looks like i am in... i have dived into the blogging world! Yikes! sorry to all of those that i have mocked! it really is pretty fun! Thanks to you who have posted and made it even more interesting for me! You all put a smile on my face and make me laugh every time i check out a new post!

Instead of posting my own thoughts, i have some questions for you. i am interested in getting some feedback on an issue we talked about at my small group tonight.

As Christians, is it good or bad to look at and maybe even study some different religions? Does the knowledge we gain help us to stand stronger in our faith? Is knowledge power? or is ignorance bliss?

I am NOT a Blogger

2006-04-23T16:03:00.001-04:00

I am only creating a blog so I can comment on other peoples blogs!! I am a spectator and maybe every once in a while i will comment. No one will read mine anyway!

What is the purpose of these blogs anyway??