Frustrated
I am frustrated... i don't really know why. i am not one to get stressed out all that often. what is even worse is that i don't even know why i am frustrated. life is good. everything is going fairly well. but i am feeling frustrated.
i am a planner. i like to be organized. i like to have goals. i like to be challenged and to work hard to achieve things. and right now i am feeling like i am not any of the above. i am at a good spot in my life. God has blessed me more than i could have ever imagined or dreamed. i am happy. i love life. but i have no clue what i am going to do with the rest of my life. i have no vision for my future-- i don't know what i am working towards or what i am working for. i am going to school and working towards my degree, but i have 2 good jobs (already in the field that i will have a degree in). and i think that is what is frustrating me the most right now. i know that God has a plan. And i trust Him. I know that God doesn't always show us what he has in store for us (i think most of the time he doesn't). i know that i need to be obedient and trust Him. and i am. yet... i don't like not knowing. i don't like not having something to work towards.
i am sure that God is working on me in this area. he may be asking me to simply trust him and his plan for my life. he may be testing my obedience. he may be trying to get me to let go of MY plans. i don't know.
i don't know what he is doing. but i do know that over the last few months my relationship with Jesus has grown more than it has in a long time. and i love it. and i know that i want to continue to grow in my relationship with Him. i want to follow him, grow closer to him, get to know him even more, and be obedient to him. i want his will for my life.
so... i guess i will just take it one day at a time... asking God at every moment to guide me and show me each day what he wants from me...

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