Life... forever changing!
Wow! My life has changed so much in the last few months. The beginning of March my house was broken into for the second time within 2 years. They busted through the dead-bolted front door. They didn’t get much this time (my tv and dvd’s). But for some reason this time it deeply affected me. I was filled with fear. I no longer wanted to be at my home or alone. While my new front door was being ordered and a security system was being put in I had been staying at the Kwasts’ house. During this time Karen passed away (March 22, 2009) and I know that God placed me there during this time for a reason. It has been one of the hardest times of my life yet, I know that the Lord has been in it and right beside me directing my paths. This whole situation is totally breaking my heart and tearing me apart. It has brought back so many memories of losing my mom (at 10 years old). I know what those kids (Jacob, 9 and Julia, 7) are going through and how they are feeling and it breaks my heart. I realized after weeks of being an emotional wreck that I was not just grieving the loss of a dear friend, but I am also grieving the loss of my own mother. As a child, I never grieved. I didn’t know how. I didn’t understand what was happening. I have gone through sadness, anger, confusion… I feel that I have felt every emotion possible in the last few months. It has been very difficult, yet very healing for me.
I also have been helping the Kwast’s with so much since Karen passed. I love those kids so much and would do anything for them. I pick them up from school, take them to activities, help with homework, whatever they need. And I love it!
I feel that my life is forever changed. At times I don’t even know who I am anymore. I used to be so independent and free. I loved being alone and doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. That is no longer the case. I don’t want to be alone anymore. And that is okay. God is changing me everyday. I know that He is in this. I know that He has a plan for me. I am so thankful to be where I am today, no matter how difficult it has been. God is using me to help those kids through a very difficult time in their lives!
posted by Quincy @ 5/07/2009 10:21:00 PM
2 Comments:
Kami and I will pray for you. What a difficult trial God is walking you through.
I have been thinking about you a lot lately, wondering how things were going. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with so many different things lately regarding loss. It is so hard not to fear the things of this world, whether it be a violation of your home and personal items or whether it is the loss of a loved one. I wonder at times if I have truly grieved the loss of my brother. Maybe someday it will hit me differently. The only thing we can cling to, is God, Himself, and HIS Word. HE is the only constant comfort we have, now and for anything that may come our way in the future.
I am so glad you can be a comforter to the kids and help their family. It allows you to give to them, what you lost out on sharing with your mom... quality time shared together. You are able to be a light in their lives. A beacon pointing to Christ and the hope we can have in HIM, even when we feel lost in this world.
I will be praying for you Quincy! You have so much to offer to others and you have so many ways you serve our Great God! Stay in HIS Word and live for HIM!
I hope to get together with you soon!
Love, Adeana
P.S.
I closed my Facebook account, so you can reach me by email or phone.
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